Everybody loves it. I love it. You love it. it's a great show. A real tv classic. It's one of the all time greats that's for sure. Leave It To Beaver is top shelf all the way. It's not bad at all like say, Roseanne. That show is for the terminally depressed. It's real big with the slit your wrists with a razor blade in the bathtub crowd. What about stuff like Two and a Half Men? That show really stinks. It makes me believe in the Zombie Apocalypse. Heck, it makes me hope for the Zombie Apocalypse. Nope, when it comes to really getting in some tube viewing you can certainly do a lot worse than the adventures of Theodore Cleaver.
The show sure does get a lot of flack from people but they just probably don't know how to watch it. You see there are some real tricks to tv watching and lots of people know 'em, but then a lot don't. So here is a little knowledge that just may help. First of all the time you watch is pretty much essential to how well the shows gonna go over. Oh, it's good any time but there is a secret for maximum viewing greatness. You should really try and watch the show at 3:00 am. Everything as far as television goes is better at that time. It's true. A bad show watched at that time becomes ok. An ok show becomes good. A good show then becomes great; and a great show when viewed at those early morning hours becomes a cosmic experience of almost religious proportions. Go ahead and try it. Watch something like The Three Stooges then and the world as you know it may crumble around you, revealing a new life that you could only dream about before hand.
Next thing is don't go watching all the shows in order. If your watching on stuff like Netflix or Hulu or on dvd this is the option you have, so use it. Start of with the one where the Beave is gonna be a canary in the school play and he has to dance and prance around like a little fairy which bugs Ward to no end. Ward's really bummed out to but it ends up okay because at the last minute Beave's part is switched and he ends up playing a giant mushroom, which makes ol' Ward Cleaver just as pleased as a dad can be.
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| "God-dammit Bobby!" Oops... wrong TV show. |
Then you could maybe watch the one where Wally and Beave go to the movies with Eddie Haskell and they go to see some horror flicks which their mom told them not to see. Of course mom finds out because Eddie's kind of a jerk and narcs 'em out. So Beaver gets revenge by making a voodoo doll of Eddie and sticks pins in it. And what do you know Eddie gets sick and he doesn't get better until Beaver goes over and removes the curse. Wow.
Then you can try the one where Wally, Lumpy, and Eddie form a band, The Mayfield Three. They have all these high pretensions and everything, thinking that they're gonna be a real big deal. Eddie and Lumpy really start letting it go to their heads and Wally who's a little more keen about it tries to keep things in perspective, but even he starts to succumb to his friends hype and starts to go a little overboard. June can't stand the racket at all and thinks it's terrible. Ward just tells her it's no big deal. Ward does try to warn Wally though that his head may be getting a little to big, but does he listen? Nope. They get a spot in the high school talent show and of course they think this is the start of some really big things, but when they hit the stage they lay down some heavy racket and everybody thinks they suck. So their hopes and dreams are dashed but Ward gives the boys a nice pep talk and they come around. The thing is, I wish I had a recording of the song they did and of the practice session in the garage, because It really sounded like some righteous clatter to my ears. Pure primitive garage punk. It would be a great 45.
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| The Monster Sweatshirt Episode (Not mentioned.) |
After that one you can cap it all of by watching the episode where the young Beaver is walking around town and he comes to a music store, and sitting outside is an old bop musician playing his horn. Beaver is really enthralled by the old guy's stories and all his bop lingo. Of course Beaver goes home and starts talking that way and it causes a lot of consternation for Ward and June, and just what kind of bad influences is he running into when he's out about town. Well just when things seem at their worst, Beaver relays a story that the old guy told him about how that having your family around is one of the best things you can have and how you really got to appreciate such a situation, and being out playing in some jazz band sounds like a lot of fun but it can really get lonely. This really placates June and her fears are allayed, so much so that she gives Beave a big hug and doesn't mind anymore if he goes and hangs out at the music store every once in a while.
So go ahead and try this. I think your gonna find it eye opening. Just go through the menu and pick the episodes at random. Mixing up the order is part of the secret so don't forget. If you do not achieve illumination after doing this, try it again. If you still haven't gotten there then I guess maybe Roseanne is for you. You poor chump you.
N/p: Ian Gillan: "Where's my Robin Hood outfit"
Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me. - Fred Rutherford
Amount of fat in the Big Macs America eats every year: 35 Million lbs.
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