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| Keep Des Moines Weird |
Dear Stan and Ronnie,
Hey how are you doing? I am doing good. I am trying to construct a real working time travel machine. I want to say I live in St. Johns and I'm wondering if your interested in helping me try and build one. Time travel was my passion for a long time and I don't know if your interested but I'm interested in being dedicated towards my goal. Do you want to help me build a machine? If your (sic) interested do you want to contact me back and let me know. I hope to hear back from you.
Please help,
J.H.
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Dear Stan and Ronnie,
My friend Smut just dropped by to introduce me to his new fiance... believe it or not her name is Tuna.......her real name is Tina.. women named Tina are usually petite and cute.. but in her case the name Tuna fits.......... she was wearing a pair of those white moccasins the kind that have the teeny tiny blue and red beads on them, they must have been a couple of years old, wore out and dirty, then she did it... she sat on the couch and took them off... I saw them... the toenails Smut told me about, they did look like Fritos.... OMG!!!!.. Then as she was sitting on the couch next to Smut she cocked up her butt and farted real loud, she turned to Smut and said " It's talking to ya daddy! " Needless to say I spewed cherry coke out of both nostrils..... as soon as they left I broke out the Lysol spray and sprayed both the couch and the floor where those feet were.
Regards,
B.L.
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Dear Stan and Ronnie,
Last night I was eating a sandwich outside the bar, two fat white guys pulled up in a car and asked what I was doing. I was like "I'm eating a sandwich!!!!!" I didn't realize they were undercover cops thinking I was drinking from a bag. I just thought they were fat guys interested in my sandwich.
Sincerely,
J.F.
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Got a weird email for Stan and Ronnie? Write us using the contact form in the right sidebar. We'll publish our favorite ones!
N/p: Olivia Newton John: "Have You Ever Been Mellow?"
Where's your will to be weird? - Jim Morrison
It's not unusual for porcupines to fall out of trees.
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