Old & In The Way Is Now Old & In The Way

I bought an original copy of Old And In The Way in 1986. If I had a dime for every time I spun that vinyl throughout the late '80s and early '90s, I'd be living in a pretty fancy house about now. But unfortunately there aint much money to be made in the record spinning business, so as I sit writing this in a crowded office space in my less than fancy abode here on 53rd Street, I am reminded of just how much money I haven't earned in my life. 

It's probably time to retire this copy to the attic. 

This record turned 40 this month - on the 17th to be exact. While 40 years might not seem like a terribly long time, one has to consider that vinyl records age much faster than humans do, and like dogs they're time comes up faster than ours. Case in point, I pulled the ol' disc out of it's sleeve this past weekend and gave it a whirl on the turntable. It showed the abuse it's taken over the years, skipping like a school girl who just discovered her first crush, and while the sound wasn't terrible, the grooves had worn so deep on some of the songs that the sound came across as sounding warped and maybe even a little bit slow.

A small chip on the record's edge made it impossible to fully enjoy the first tracks on side A and side B, thus eliminating "Pig in a Pen" and "Panama Red" - arguably the two most kickin' tunes on the entire danged record. "Midnight Moonlight" has taken such a beating over the years that it skips right at the song's chorus - thus putting me in a transcendental mind warp each time it repeats itself over and over. I've gotten kind of spacey in my long life, and this weekend the chorus must have repeated itself 20 times before I actually caught on to what was happening.

The groove in "Land of the Navajo" is so deep that at times it sounds as if the song is slowed way down only to catch it's groove again, and like music on ice it spins out of it at a rate so quick that it actually sounds faster. It's kinda disconcerting considering that I haven't dabbled too deeply into psychedelics for about 15 years but when Peter Rowan starts to do that Navajo chant and it slows way down and then suddenly picks up again real quickly, it's like being on acid all over again.

Yes, 40 years is a terribly long time to be a record, especially one that has been spun as often as this one has. It's been a mainstay in my "active" collection for all these years, meaning that I haven't filed it away up in the attic yet with the thousands of others that are there, but I've discovered that maybe it's time to do just that.

In fact, my "active" collection is about ready for a downsizing anyway as I am forced to step over it anytime I need to enter that part of the house. 

For instance, I don't know when was the last time I listened to Sweeter As The Years Go By by Blind Willie Johnson or Poverty's Paradise by Naughty by Nature or even Blank Generation by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. 

But I did pull out Old & In The Way this past weekend and realized that it is indeed, old and in my way. Time for a trip to the attic... 

N/p: The Disasteroids: "Cold Woman Blues"
First you will see a spot. The spot will become a crack. This is the crack between the nothing, and out of this nothing will come your unborn soul. - Edward Jessup
Bananas grow pointing up, not pointing down. 

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STAN'S REKKID REVIEWS

The Byrds - Byrdmaniax

This record came out in '71. They were nearing the end of their stellar career. The only original member was Roger McGuinn at this point and that often can spell trouble for a band. At least it can for their fans. Pretty sure not many people would say this is their favorite Byrds album. In fact I'm not sure how many people like it at all, but I kinda do. Like so many of the bands who had made it through the '60s and trudged on into the '70s, you can hear the burn out. Yet somehow, I think that's what gives this album a kind of ragged charm. The bonus tracks do not enhance the album at all and are completely unnecessary. Not great but not as pointless as many make this out to be.

Ty Segall Band - Live In San Francisco

This is a pretty hot set. I mean hot as molten lava. It's fuzz driven, heavy garage rock that gives me hope that rock n roll ain't maybe quite as dead as I often think it is. Recorded live, it's stuff mostly centered around the band's Slaughterhouse album where Mr. Segall said that he was wanting to make a demonic crossing of The Stooges and Hawkwind. It's Heavy Metal in terms of what that used to mean before it became a fashion statement.

Back From The Grave Vol. 9 and 10

Absolute must haves! Pure savage, teenage '60s punk mayhem. Manic, barbaric anthems of lust and angst. Mad I tell you, stark, raving, looney, mad! Forget what your ex-hippie teacher tried to tell you about the '60s and what they symbolized. Tell 'em where to shove that Carol King album. This is the real neanderthal rama-lama. Don't be the one on your block who doesn't have these in your collection. It's the difference between cool and fool.


N/p: Carl Bonafede: "Story That's True"
I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams
Only .000000000000001 of the stars in the universe are visible from Earth. 

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THE BONZO GUIDE TO BEAVER

Everybody loves it. I love it. You love it. it's a great show. A real tv classic. It's one of the all time greats that's for sure. Leave It To Beaver is top shelf all the way. It's not bad at all like say, Roseanne. That show is for the terminally depressed. It's real big with the slit your wrists with a razor blade in the bathtub crowd. What about stuff like Two and a Half Men? That show really stinks. It makes me believe in the Zombie Apocalypse. Heck, it makes me hope for the Zombie Apocalypse. Nope, when it comes to really getting in some tube viewing you can certainly do a lot worse than the adventures of Theodore Cleaver.

The show sure does get a lot of flack from people but they just probably don't know how to watch it. You see there are some real tricks to tv watching and lots of people know 'em, but then a lot don't. So here is a little knowledge that just may help. First of all the time you watch is pretty much essential to how well the shows gonna go over. Oh, it's good any time but there is a secret for maximum viewing greatness. You should really try and watch the show at 3:00 am. Everything as far as television goes is better at that time. It's true. A bad show watched at that time becomes ok. An ok show becomes good. A good show then becomes great; and a great show when viewed at those early morning hours becomes a cosmic experience of almost religious proportions. Go ahead and try it. Watch something like The Three Stooges then and the world as you know it may crumble around you, revealing a new life that you could only dream about before hand.

Next thing is don't go watching all the shows in order. If your watching on stuff like Netflix or Hulu or on dvd this is the option you have, so use it. Start of with the one where the Beave is gonna be a canary in the school play and he has to dance and prance around like a little fairy which bugs Ward to no end. Ward's really bummed out to but it ends up okay because at the last minute Beave's part is switched and he ends up playing a giant mushroom, which makes ol' Ward Cleaver just as pleased as a dad can be.

"God-dammit Bobby!" Oops... wrong TV show. 

Then you could maybe watch the one where Wally and Beave go to the movies with Eddie Haskell and they go to see some horror flicks which their mom told them not to see. Of course mom finds out because Eddie's kind of a jerk and narcs 'em out. So Beaver gets revenge by making a voodoo doll of Eddie and sticks pins in it. And what do you know Eddie gets sick and he doesn't get better until Beaver goes over and removes the curse. Wow.

Then you can try the one where Wally, Lumpy, and Eddie form a band, The Mayfield Three. They have all these high pretensions and everything, thinking that they're gonna be a real big deal. Eddie and Lumpy really start letting it go to their heads and Wally who's a little more keen about it tries to keep things in perspective, but even he starts to succumb to his friends hype and starts to go a little overboard. June can't stand the racket at all and thinks it's terrible. Ward just tells her it's no big deal. Ward does try to warn Wally though that his head may be getting a little to big, but does he listen? Nope. They get a spot in the high school talent show and of course they think this is the start of some really big things, but when they hit the stage they lay down some heavy racket and everybody thinks they suck. So their hopes and dreams are dashed but Ward gives the boys a nice pep talk and they come around. The thing is, I wish I had a recording of the song they did and of the practice session in the garage, because It really sounded like some righteous clatter to my ears. Pure primitive garage punk. It would be a great 45.

The Monster Sweatshirt Episode (Not mentioned.) 

After that one you can cap it all of by watching the episode where the young Beaver is walking around town and he comes to a music store, and sitting outside is an old bop musician playing his horn. Beaver is really enthralled by the old guy's stories and all his bop lingo. Of course Beaver goes home and starts talking that way and it causes a lot of consternation for Ward and June, and just what kind of bad influences is he running into when he's out about town. Well just when things seem at their worst, Beaver relays a story that the old guy told him about how that having your family around is one of the best things you can have and how you really got to appreciate such a situation, and being out playing in some jazz band sounds like a lot  of fun but it can really get lonely. This really placates June and her fears are allayed, so much so that she gives Beave a big hug and doesn't mind anymore if he goes and hangs out at the music store every once in a while.

So go ahead and try this. I think your gonna find it eye opening. Just go through the menu and pick the episodes at random. Mixing up the order is part of the secret so don't forget. If you do not achieve illumination after doing this, try it again. If you still haven't gotten there then I guess maybe Roseanne is for you. You poor chump you.


N/p: Ian Gillan: "Where's my Robin Hood outfit"
Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me. - Fred Rutherford
Amount of fat in the Big Macs America eats every year: 35 Million lbs.  

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