(At least) Five Questions With Jack of Dirty Fences

The latest from Dirty Fences, released May 2015 Just as I decided that Dirty Fences is the greasiest rock and roll band in the solar system, I fired off an email to Jack Daves with some very pertinent questions. Knowing that these guys are tour whores - and just whores in general - I wanted to slap him with something that would give him a mental break from being on the road. I wandered up to the neighborhood coffee shop, bought a cup, and immediately blistered my tongue with scalding hot coffee....

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13th Floor Elevators to Reunite in Austin

Somewhere, on another oxygen supported planet in a far away universe, a butterfly fluttered and it caused an inter-galactic ripple. Texas psyche patriarchs 13th Floor Elevators will play the Levitation Festival in Austin, Texas, marking the first time they have appeared together onstage since 1967. This one-off reunion will feature all living original members, including vocalist, guitarist, and Austin native Roky Erickson, bassist Ronnie Leatherman, and original drummer John Ike Walton....

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POND - Man It Feels Like Space Again

There are a lot of things you can do with your time. You can walk your dog, you can bake a cake, or even a pie maybe, you could go to the gas station and put gas in your car, you can build a model, you can read a book, you could even start writing a book, you could do a load of laundry, you could mop your kitchen and bathroom floors, you could go out for tacos, you can look at a road map, you could mix a cocktail, you could make a pot of coffee, you can smoke 'em if you got 'em, you can pull...

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Interview With A Hall of Famer: Leilani Kai

Many people have forgotten that during the first Wrestlemania, there were two headlining matches. The big one of course featured Mr. T and Hulk Hogan squaring off against Rowdy Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff, but the co-main event featured a couple of lady wrestlers who had just fought against each other a month prior. That battle was between Wendy Richter and defending champion Leilani Kai. Leilani Kai, training under the Fabulous Moolah had upset Richter to win the WWF Women's Title, and because...

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ROCK N ROLL MAGICIAN LEFT FOR DEAD BY HUMANS IN THE 21ST CENTURY (BUT STILL KICKING ASS)!

Kim recounting the time that Phil Spector farted in the studio That wasn't gonna be the title of this thing even though Mr. Fowley said maybe that's what I oughta call it.  But it is kinda cool and since the guys all dead and gone, why not let him name it? Besides I probably would  have come up with something lame and not at all to the heart of the matter.  The title as it stands does seems to capture that Fowley essence so.... there it is. The story of this piece actually...

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AND NOW, THE MEAT MASHUP!

This original Meat's Mashup is a head twister... It might be an advantage to be local to Des Moines but honestly, anybody should be able to figure it out based on the clues. It's like Blue's Clues for adults!  Who Am I? The first person to send the answer to meatmashup@gmail.com will be forever immortalized on this website! One... two... three... GO! N/p: The Mans: "War Penis" Trees cause more pollution than automobiles. - Ronald Reagan The record for the most balloon...

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RUNNIN' OVER THE SAME OLD GROUND

The Final Cut?  It has been said and I've even read that this is it for the Floyd guys. At least it's supposed to be their final album. Yeah well, we've heard all of that before. The final album leads to a final tour, and then a few years down the road another tour. Who knows though. I mean these guys are getting up there in the years and the realities of growing old could put a stop to any future sojourns by the Pinksters.  I mean the Who had the brains to say that they were calling...

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Twenty Dollar Cartoon # 1: Pat Moriarity

We wondered what would happen if we commissioned a famous artist to draw a cartoon for us under the guise that we would only pay him 20 dollars for his time. The idea came to me one day as I read the comics page in the Des Moines Register and wondered about these artists and what they got paid for each strip they created. Personally I can't draw, but if I could, I would relish the lifestyle that comes along with such a job. (Eh, who wouldn't?)  I've often said that writing is a hobby as long...

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Awake? Try Jeff Bridges' Sleeping Tapes

It kinda seems like a joke. What is Jeff Bridges doing making recordings that are reportedly designed to help you relax and get some sleep?  Well if you think the concept is funny wait till you hear the thing. I mean it's a little bit hard to journey to the land of nod when you're preoccupied with laughing your ass off. First off, take the cover. It's kind of cool actually, but it's not an image that is going to make me feel relaxed and ready for sleep. In fact that image appearing in...

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Tommy's Memories of Circles Squared

(Written by Tommy Acuff) In the 3rd grade, I got into a playground fight over Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mr. T. See, Piper was in the midst of a feud with TV's Mr. T.  The two were set to collide at Wrestlemania 2 in a boxing match.  The two had squared off previously as parts of opposing tag teams at the inaugural Wrestlemania event, and hadn't settled things enough.     Mr. T was at the pinnacle of his fame.  He'd fought Rocky.  He was the star of The A-Team.  His...

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Meanwhile In The Land Of Aliens...

N/p: Dimentia 13: "Do The Jerk-Off" You can't function in society if you don't involve yourself in the fictions society accepts about time. But you do with the understanding that you're playing a game. -Brad Warner First college to issue degrees: University of  Bologna in 10...

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Restaurant Review: McDonald's On Grand

I had been hearing about the pleasantries of Mr. McDonald's Restaurant for quite some time, and after seeing a few television commercials during this year's Super Bowl, I thought I would give it a shot. McDonald's Restaurant at 6125 Grand Avenue in Des Moines, Iowa After all, if this famed eatery has truly served 75 Billion burgers as it claims it has, then it can only be assumed that the meals are extravagantly prepared and hold a magnificent quality, am I right? My dining partner and...

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Uncle Henry's Dick Picks Volume One

AN OPEN LETTER TO REVEREND PEYTON'S BIG DAMN BAND Dear Reverend Peyton, Just who the hell do you think you are, some kind of preacher or something?  Well, I'll tell you what. I aint never heard no preacher like you before, up on the stage with that silly lookin' guitar snarling through that nasally drawl. And while I'm not necessarily a religious fella, I don't hear ya all saying a whole hell of a lot about Jesus and his disciples up there. And the fact that you use a cuss word in...

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And Now, Weird Letters to Stan & Ronnie

Keep Des Moines Weird Dear Stan and Ronnie,Hey how are you doing? I am doing good. I am trying to construct a real working time travel machine. I want to say I live in St. Johns and I'm wondering if your interested in helping me try and build one. Time travel was my passion for a long time and I don't know if your interested but I'm interested in being dedicated towards my goal. Do you want to help me build a machine? If your (sic) interested do you want to contact me back and let me know....

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Dont Bother Knockin, Bones Are A-Rockin

Any trash kulture connoisseur worth their salt knows that comic books are as much a part of the endless quest for kicks as any great rock n roll record,  old boss tv show, or any B to Z grade film.  Reading The Fantastic Four's Galactus Trilogy could be just as mind expanding as listening to Piper At The Gates Of Dawn. Digging the doom patrol could be as essential of an experience as listening to Sun Ra. Gorging on the EC horror/sci-fi/crime comics can be just as stimulating as listening...

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